28 y/o man finds dating in Singapore ‘so difficult,’ says many women have high expectations from men
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SINGAPORE: We all know how brutal the job market is these days, but is dating just as much of a nightmare? Are singles struggling to find love the same way they struggle to land a decent job?
One 28-year-old man says that, at least for him, dating in Singapore is incredibly “difficult.” Despite putting in the effort, like “using dating apps,” going on multiple dates, and trying to meet new people, he has yet to find a meaningful, lasting relationship.
“[I’ve never] been attached, and there’s always a pattern: I go on a couple of dates, think that things are going ok, then boom, ghosted,” he said. “When I am myself with the ladies I went on dates with, I just become a friend? When I’m not myself with them, it feels way too fake for me. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.”
He also noted that many of the women he has dated seem to have very high expectations.
“[They] seem to expect the men to treat first, the men to provide, the men to do everything, etc.,” he wrote.
Looking for some perspective, he asked other locals, “Why is dating in SG so difficult? Perhaps this whole dating thing just isn’t for me? Anyone in a similar situation?”
“Just remember, don’t spend everything.”
In the comments, some locals shared their thoughts on why dating in Singapore can be so tough.
One person wrote, “Dating is horrible in SG. Both parties demand too much from their dates. Everything is all about materialistic value. People can say ‘oh I want a guy/girl who is family-oriented, honest, loyal, etc.’ but when such person come into their life, they will treat that person like a piece of sh*t and drive them out of their lives. It is better to be single these days.”
Another commented, “We live in a materialistic society, and social media makes it worse.”
Others, meanwhile, gave the man some advice. One said, “State what you expect from a relationship (relationship goals) on the first date, and ask her for her relationship goals as well. If they don’t match on the deal breakers, there is no need to go on another date, and it will help prevent you from experiencing dates ghosting you.
“I recognise this may seem rather intense for a first date, but the ladies who are looking for a serious relationship will understand why you are asking. At most, you can explain why.”
Another added, “Just remember, don’t spend everything and give all the time. It gets too tiring unless you print dollars. In this modern world, we should change their expectations by seeing if they are willing to go Dutch on the first date.”
In other news, a woman has taken to Reddit to share that she’s been feeling increasingly anxious about her relationship after her boyfriend’s parents unexpectedly asked him for a large sum of money.
On Sunday (Aug 10), the woman wrote on the asksg forum that her boyfriend, an international student on a scholarship, had been unable to save much since coming to Singapore. So when he landed an internship this year and began receiving a steady income, she thought, “things were finally looking up.”
Unfortunately, that sense of relief was short-lived. Out of the blue, she said his parents, whose business is failing and who have a five-figure debt, contacted him with an urgent request for financial help.