Maid asks, ‘Is it normal for my employer to want me to hand-wash her undies, husband’s boxer shorts, and 9 family members’ underwear?’
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SINGAPORE: It’s not often a conversation about laundry goes viral, but one domestic helper’s Facebook post has the internet in a twist — and it’s not just about tumble-drying.
In a post to the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper group, a first-time contract helper posted what many might consider the unspoken truth of the household chores nobody wants to talk about — hand-washing underwear.
“Hello, I have a first contract. It states ‘hand wash clothes’ in the contract. I didn’t read the contract before signing it. Is it normal for my employer to want me to hand-wash her undies, husband’s boxer shorts, and 9 family members’ underwear?” she asked, sparking a laundry list of responses that ranged from “yes, it’s normal” to “nope, that’s too much.”
“I don’t ask my helper to hand-wash my undies…”
Let’s be honest — hand-washing your own undergarments might already feel quite personal. Now imagine doing it for nine other people, including your boss’s husband’s boxers. That’s not just work — that’s an intimate audit of everyone’s… hygiene habits.
One commenter shared how her own helper shocked her with a voluntary act of “too much initiative”:
“I don’t ask my helper to hand-wash my undies because I feel it’s a very personal thing, but my helper, who initiated doing it for me 🤯, gave me a shock when I found out she had hand-washed them for me.”
Another helper said she’s used to doing it — even with blood stains and discharge: “They wanted me to be hygienic, but they themselves are so unhygienic 🤣🤣🤣.”
That’s irony with a rinse cycle.
“It’s your Job!” vs. “That’s too much!”
Some group members were quick to school the helper on job scope and expectations: “Yes! Actually, it’s part of your job, but some employers prefer to wash their undies,” wrote one.
“Yes, why not? It’s our job, but my boss doesn’t want me to hand-wash all their undies, even socks. I put them all in the washing machine, except if there’s a stain,” wrote another.
However, not everyone agreed it should be business as usual: “For 9 persons? That is too much,” said one.
Others took the opportunity to share the gross side of the job:
“My present employer now, her undies are so dirty… never even taught her child to clean her own undies… I always use gloves to wash the dirt that’s stuck on her undies, and then put them in the washing machine to double wash.”
Another added, “Even if it has period blood, I still wash. That’s our job.”
“I will never do it!!!”
There were also other maids chiming in — some appalled, others indifferent.
One said: “I will never do it!!! Especially for my madam. All my previous madams rinse clean by themselves during their shower, then air it, and I just need to put it in the washing machine.”
Another took the luxury route: “Because not all undies are cheap. Not all material can be washed in the machine.”
Fair point — lace doesn’t come cheap.
However, some were more compassionate: “If undies are stained, I believe the employer should pre-wash first… I tell all my helpers not to touch. It’s very personal.”
“Just use gloves…”
In case you’re wondering if gloves help — they do, but do they fix the discomfort? Probably not, as one helper said:
“Just use gloves, but I ask to pre-wash if there is a monthly period [blood stain]. If stains still remain, I soak them into the water with vanish.”
That’s not just a laundry routine — That’s a CSI episode, Singapore version.
“Next time, read your contract before signing…”
While some commenters empathised with the helper, others pointed out that reading the contract matters — and ignorance is no excuse.
“You didn’t read the contract before you signed it. So you must follow. If not, ask for a transfer. Next time, read your contract before signing.”
So then, “Is it normal?”
Maybe the real question isn’t “Is it normal?” — but “Is it humane?”
It’s one thing to wash the family’s dirty laundry. It’s another when that laundry starts to include stained panties, children’s unflushed messes, and the boss’s husband’s boxer briefs — by hand.
While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, what’s clear is this: Communication, consent, and clarity in contracts matter.
And to the helper: No, you’re not wrong for asking. If anything, you’ve helped air the unspoken reality of domestic work — and forced everyone to take a long, hard look at what we consider “normal.”
Just treat your helper like a human being. It’s not that hard.