Maid asks, ‘Why do employers always want us to leave our bedroom doors open? Why is this such a big deal? Why so many headaches for us?’ AURORATOTO GROUP

SINGAPORE: They clean your house, care for your kids, cook your food — and it seems, according to one helper, that they must also leave their bedroom doors open in many households in Singapore.

That’s the quiet frustration simmering on a now-deleted Facebook post from a domestic helper in Singapore, who dared to ask the question many in her shoes have been wondering about — but few voice out loud:

“I have been reading about many employers having issues with us helpers closing the door to our bedrooms. 😕 So, to all employers, why do you always want helpers to leave our room doors open? Why? I always close my room door when I go outside or when I’m inside the room. Why is this such a big deal? Why? Why so many headaches for us?”

The post was made in a public forum dedicated to discussions about migrant domestic workers, called MDW/FDH (Migrant/Foreign Domestic Worker/Helper) in Singapore (working conditions forum) group. While comments from fellow helpers were lost when the post was taken down, probably out of fear of being identified by her own employer, the message had already resonated widely among both helpers and those familiar with household employment dynamics in the city-state.

Employers say leaving the door open is about “transparency” or “safety” …

In Singapore, where over 250,000 foreign domestic helpers support households (as of MOM’s latest data), the boundary between work and personal space is blurry at best.

The helper’s question touches on something deeper than just a door. It’s about privacy, autonomy, and trust — all of which seem to vanish when a closed bedroom door triggers employer anxiety.

Some employers may claim that leaving the door open is about “transparency” or “safety,” while others may argue it’s about being “accessible” at all times, but many helpers feel the rationale borders on control rather than concern.

After all, how many of us would tolerate being told to sleep with the door open because someone else “feels uncomfortable” otherwise?

Helpers say it’s crossing the line of personal boundaries…

This isn’t the first time the bedroom door issue has caused friction in Singapore households.

Anecdotally, helpers report being told to leave their room doors open while being monitored 24/7, which may constitute an invasion of their privacy, such as when changing clothes, resting, or calling their family. Some employers may even do a spot check unexpectedly. Others may monitor their helper’s comings and goings. While this might be shrugged off as household rules, it raises a question of dignity vs dependency.

The power imbalance is real. Helpers don’t have much of a choice but to live where they work. They answer to the same people who control their rest days, food, and even phone use. An open door might seem like a small detail — but to a live-in helper, it’s crossing the line of personal boundary.

What exactly are employers afraid of behind a helper’s closed doors?

The Ministry of Manpower (MOM) may not have a specific regulation about open or closed doors for MDWs, but employers are legally obligated to provide adequate privacy and rest.

What that looks like in practice, though, is entirely up to individual households. Some treat their helpers like extended family. Others expect 24/7 readiness, with little room for personal boundaries.

It begs the question — what exactly are employers afraid of behind a helper’s closed doors? Sleep? Solitude? A much-needed cry?

“Why so many headaches for us?”

Let’s be honest. If we trust someone with our children and keys, we can surely trust them with a closed bedroom door.

In a nation that prides itself on being a global city, the conversation around domestic helper/worker rights must evolve beyond contracts and into common decency.

And to the helper who asked, “Why so many headaches for us?” — maybe the real headache lies in employers refusing to respect a very simple thing: A helper’s privacy.

So it’s really about time all employers alike did some reflecting of their own, to allow all helpers alike to reclaim something as basic as their own personal privacy rights.

And perhaps the next time a helper quietly closes her room door, we can learn to respectfully knock if we really need something… instead of always fully controlling the handle all the time.

Read related: Maids forced to sleep in bomb shelters: Singaporean woman asks, ‘Why not employers try to sleep in one for themselves first?’