Maid says, ‘My employer shouts at me to shut up and calls me stupid, idiot, no brain, and rubbish every day when I ask something’ AURORATOTO GROUP

SINGAPORE: In a brutally honest Facebook comment that struck a chord with many, a foreign domestic helper (FDH) in Singapore shared her daily ordeal of verbal abuse from her employer.

“My employer calls me stupid, idiot, no brain, and rubbish every day. 😅 I just keep quiet and still do my work, as I can’t ask her anything because then she will shout, ‘shut up!’” she wrote in the MDW/FDH (Migrant/Foreign Domestic Worker/Helper) in Singapore (working conditions forum) Facebook group.

But instead of wallowing in despair or fear, this helper decided to fight back—not with fists or kicks, but with just six powerful words: “Send me back to the agency!” and with that bold retort, thrown back in the middle of yet another tirade, was her moment of liberation.

“Until one day, when she shouted at me, I shouted back at her to send me back to the agency. Luckily, she agreed. And now I have a very good employer [after leaving the former one],” she wrote, in what can only be described as a rarely heard maid survival story.

The post was made in a Facebook forum dedicated to migrant domestic workers, where many helpers share experiences ranging from cultural misunderstandings to horrifying abuse. And this wasn’t even the worst.

Her comment came under another story reported earlier by The Independent Singapore, titled “Maid says, ‘I feel shaky, like having a heart attack, and suffer from panic attacks whenever my employer has her emotional outbursts’”. In that earlier case, the helper in question wrote:

“I feel shaky, like having a heart attack. I’m afraid to fight back because I don’t want to get a bad record. I feel like I just want to disappear whenever my ma’am is here…”

Both stories echo a disturbing reality—when mental health, dignity, and basic human respect are sacrificed behind closed doors under the guise of household employment.

In a city that prides itself on world-class infrastructure and efficient systems, are we looking away when emotional violence festers in the shadows of HDB corridors?

Fortunately, not all hope is lost.

“So don’t be scared (my fellow helpers), just ask for a transfer if you can’t take it anymore,” the helper who commented encouraged others, urging them to no longer suffer in silence, cos you really don’t have to.

Her story resonated deeply across the platform, where many FDH, past and present, shared similar tales of shouting matches, isolation, and working through tears. But also of hope—because there are good employers out there. There are also decent families. And there is dignity waiting on the other side of fear.

To her, and others like her, standing up doesn’t always mean fighting back—it sometimes just means asking for a way out.

And to employers, let this be a mirror: If the only language you speak to your helper in is shouting, perhaps it’s not their brain that needs rewiring.

📌 If you or someone you know is a domestic worker facing abuse, the Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE) offers assistance and can be contacted at 1800-2255-233.

Read related (in case you missed it): “Maid says, ‘I feel shaky, like having a heart attack, and suffer from panic attacks whenever my employer has her emotional outbursts’”