Singaporean man regrets breakup with S$7k-earning GF who pressured him over job search and money AURORATOTO GROUP

SINGAPORE: A 26-year-old man took to social media to share that he ‘now regrets’ breaking up with his girlfriend of 16 months, who constantly pressured him over his job search, finances, and her own high expectations.

Sharing his story on the r/sgdatingscene on Wednesday (Aug 27), the man explained that his girlfriend is “ambitious and career-driven”, earning between S$5,000 and S$7,000 a month as the sole breadwinner of her family. In sharp contrast, he has been struggling to secure employment in a difficult job market since graduating.

Two weeks before the breakup, she demanded to know how long he would need to find a job. He told her “three months”, and though she agreed, he suspected “she was preparing herself for the worst”.

“She told me that she didn’t want to have any regrets by not giving me a chance. For a few months now, our relationship didn’t quite have the same warmth it had prior to my graduation,” he wrote.

“We would argue a lot more frequently, and she’d have random outbursts at times. We still had our sweet moments, but everything seemed to hinge on me proving myself and giving her constant reassurances, which became quite draining on top of my current job search.”

The man went on to share that, during arguments, his girlfriend would often say she felt like “the man” in the relationship since she was the one paying for most of their meals.

He admitted this left him puzzled because, at the time, she seemed “happy” to cover the costs. He also insisted it wasn’t as if he hadn’t been contributing. Despite his limited means, he said he had always tried his best to provide.

In fact, during the first year of their relationship, when he still had savings, he frequently treated her to expensive dinners on special occasions, bought her flowers, and surprised her with gifts.

“We also went to Thailand for our grad trip 3 months ago, and I planned the entire itinerary,” he recalled.

“I booked the flights, the Airbnb, the resort, the massage spa, everything… The finances for this trip were probably a 50/50 split, so no issues with that. But in our recent argument, she compared our grad trip to my friend’s and said that we only went to Thailand.”

Beyond the issue of finances, the man said his girlfriend would also make remarks that cut even deeper. She would sometimes point out that she could have dated someone more established and “successful”, but chose him instead because she believed in “love over money”. On bad days, she even questioned out loud if “she had made the right decision”.

To him, these remarks felt like constant reminders that he wasn’t measuring up, though she claimed they were meant as “motivation”.

“To her, these comments were meant to let me know that she was unsatisfied and that it was meant to be some form of motivation?” he said.

“Honestly, I have already given my all in this relationship. I’ve also treated her with the utmost care and respect. I’ve always told her that I would give her the life that she wants and I just needed time to get there. Wasn’t enough….”

Due to the pressure, the man ultimately decided to part ways with her. He didn’t anticipate, however, that his girlfriend would be so heartbroken over this.

“She was shocked, I guess, and said she could never bring herself to leave me. She told me I broke her heart. The next day I checked in and told her that we should use this time for self-reflection and self-improvement. But she said even if we got back together, she would always remember the breakup, and it would turn toxic,” he said.

While he initially felt certain it was the right choice, he now admits he misses her deeply and feels guilty for hurting her.

“A part of me wants to call her and say I was impulsive, but I know that nothing good will come out of it. I just wonder if one day, if we’re both in a better situation, we can start afresh.”

“Women these days don’t want to grow together with a man.”

Although the post had only been up for three hours, the man quickly received a wave of replies from Singaporean Redditors, most of whom agreed he was right to walk away.

Many described the relationship as flat-out “toxic” and draining, with one commenter bluntly saying his girlfriend couldn’t have truly loved him if she was constantly putting him down.

To drive the point home, one user shared, “I had a partner who was unemployed as a fresh grad as well, and I didn’t make sarcastic comments like needing time to prepare myself for the worst, or saying I’m the man in the relationship. You don’t need to hear that, especially if you have been trying to make it work.”

Another commented, “No offence, she sounds manipulative. It is a known fact that people who berate their partners by making them feel inferior can be abusive, falling between the spectrum of gaslighting or humiliation.”

They continued, “Remember this: women these days don’t want to grow together with a man. They want a ready-made man. Harsh truths for young single males in this country.”

A third remarked, “You absolutely made the right decision. You didn’t do anything wrong and are working on landing a job, but she still has to ‘give you a chance,’ like what? It’s very apparent that she values money a lot.”

In other news, a fresh graduate recently shared on social media that she’s seriously thinking of quitting her first full-time job after just six months, as she has not been given any real responsibilities.

In her post on the r/askSingapore forum, she explained that the reality of the role turned out very different from her expectations.

“I haven’t been given any real responsibilities or meaningful tasks. [About] 10% of my work [involves things] like updating software and moving files around etc, while 90% is spent on online materials for examinations,” she wrote, adding that this has already pushed her to start looking elsewhere.

Read more: Fresh grad considers quitting first full-time job after six months due to lack of ‘meaningful tasks’